Wisdom Lite

The only thing you'll ever get from cynicism is party invitations.

In 300 words or less

The following is my essay entitled "If You Can't Do Something Right, You Might As Well Not Do It At All."





.

Holy Joli...

Text message to all actresses: Stop pumping garbage in your lips. It's freaking everyone out.

Hell, as long as I vote I guess...

Barack vs. Hillary in '08 is a liberal's nightmare. If I vote for Hillary, I feel racist. If I vote for Barack, I feel mysogynist.

Idiot savvy

I don't mind people calling me by a nickname but I wish they'd remember the "savant" part.

Another one? You kidding me?

Computer nerd drag name: Jay Peg Format

Babel on

We saw the movie, Babel, the other night. Considering its title, I can't really complain.

A Case of the Cut and Runs

I don't believe America should "cut and run". I believe America should "cut and saunter

This Is Actually True

A friend of mine can't figure out why the Scottish lady next door wants to keep hanging around him all the time. I suggested she might be a Fag Haggis

Serious lee

I think Kathy Lee Gifford's name should be an adverb. As in, "Oh, the poor thing sang so kathyly...."