Because if you put it in list form on the Internet, it's true.

AMAZING FACTS.

• If a duck quacks in the forest, and there's no one around, it echoes.
• Strange coincidence: both John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln were assassinated on the same day, in the same place, with the exact same bullet. Garfield was not.
• In Europe (or "Spain"), cat urine is never used as an ingredient in toothpaste.
• One of the Teletubbies is an ordained ministers. But no on knows which one.
• A hippo cannot sneeze with its eyes open. Nor wants to.
• No one actually died on the Titanic.
• Pinocchio is actually Italian for "Rumplestiltskin".
• Biologically, Melanie Griffith is 79% guano.
• "Chiffarobe" is the longest English word with no vowels. Other than I A O and E. The "Y" is both silent and invisible.
• The Earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons -- especially right after the holidays.

And the award for the most disgusting ad slogan of the new millennium goes to...Kaopectate: "Diarrhea. It stops me in my tracks."

Bobby Fischer, Troubled Genius of Chess, Dies at 64

Check and mate. Nice game, Bob.

Flu

I'm so sick and exhausted I can't even drink straight.

Tim and I are both out of work due to the Writer's Guild Strike -- this being Los Angeles, I guess we're now Poor White Recyclables.

Went to the ANDY WARHOL DEAD AT 21 ART SHOW -- full of all the same old faces and I didn't recognize a single one.


Best artist there: Lou Cannizzaro

I decided to learn Spanish so I've started pressing '2'.

My New Year's Resolution: 1600 x 1200

Tim mentioned someone at work he hadn't mentioned before.

I asked, "Oh? What's she like?" He said, "Regrettably healthy...."

Little Drummer Deadbeat

Little Drummer Boy:
Baby Jesus...pah rum pah pum pum. I have no gift to bring...pah rum pah pum pum.

Baby Jesus:
Uh...looks like you got a drum there. Why can't I have that?