Louis Cannizzarro

Another one from Lou, during Friday night: "She's in her early 30's / late 40's."

Here...I'll show you my tan line:

"Hi. Nice tan!"

The Fish Whisperer

Two fish in our pond...it's pouring down rain, and I heard this as clear as a bell.

Fish 1: Boy, it's really coming down, isn't it?

Fish 2: So?

Proposed official slogan for the City of Angels.

Welcome to Los Angeles! All the kids you thought were annoying in high school? They're here.

Consrvative Chrstians think they should be able to go anywhere in this country without being offended by something they see or hear. You know what? Stay home.

"Truffaut" is an oxymoron.

Because if you put it in list form on the Internet, it's true.

AMAZING FACTS.

• If a duck quacks in the forest, and there's no one around, it echoes.
• Strange coincidence: both John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln were assassinated on the same day, in the same place, with the exact same bullet. Garfield was not.
• In Europe (or "Spain"), cat urine is never used as an ingredient in toothpaste.
• One of the Teletubbies is an ordained ministers. But no on knows which one.
• A hippo cannot sneeze with its eyes open. Nor wants to.
• No one actually died on the Titanic.
• Pinocchio is actually Italian for "Rumplestiltskin".
• Biologically, Melanie Griffith is 79% guano.
• "Chiffarobe" is the longest English word with no vowels. Other than I A O and E. The "Y" is both silent and invisible.
• The Earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons -- especially right after the holidays.