Phone Manners...feh.

Something to say to telephone support when it's not going well and you're feeling cranky:

"Please keep in mind that someone's paying you to listen to me and no one's paying me to listen to you."

Good News for Parents

Here's an inside scoop to all you parents who think it's your fault your kid is gay:

I have heard every coming out story at least a hundred times. And according to what I've heard, "being gay" is the only thing that's not your fault.

Bizzness

They don't have parties in Los Angeles. Only business meetings.

"Tired cliche" is actually a tired cliche.

Vocabulary lesson.

The Department of Defense boys have decided that they never lied about using illegal napalm bombs and phosphorus arms in Iraq; they simply issued "counter truths".

By extension, I'm guessing their "counter-intelligence" is good old fashioned "stupidity".

Ignore this please....

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Is it my imagination or is Madonna starting to look like that embarrassing mom we all knew in high school?

Wisdom lite

Advice to today's youth:

Don't make friends with high maintenance people just because they're clever. Usually, they're too clever for your own good.

Smallpox

Sure, the smallpox in the blankets was terrible but didn't they get us back with tobacco?

Anyone want to hazard a guess what Irritable Vowel Syndrome is?