Past is Prologue

With prequels like Revenge of the Sith and Batman Begins, may I suggest these classic prequels?


Immigrant Kane
A Star is Conceived
When Harry Didn't Have a Clue Who Sally Was.
MidAfternoon of the Living Dead
An Affair to Look Forward To
Black Hole of the Apes
The Wind is Coming

Jackson 5

Updating an old Jackson 5 song:

O C D it's easy as O C D it's easy as O C D it's easy as O C D it's easy as O C D it's easy as O C D it's easy as...

Full Release

Actually, the woman was told to release one white dove "for each time Michael Jackson got off"....

Tailgate party

Warning: new traffic policy. If you tailgate me, I'll slam on the brakes. That way, you and I will be equally annoyed. I drive a Honda.

Computer Geek Drag Name

Skip Intro.

Fine. Have It Your Way.

At Burger King, I ordered a large meat something, and the clerk gave me a lecture on how they were all one size. When I said, "Well, thank you for being so patient with me" the clerk threw a fit.

How was I to know she was going to take it the right way?

How to Handle Store Clerks

"I'll never shop here again" is not a threat."

I'll pee on this floor" is.

The Sanctity of Rehearsal Dinners

While I am against against a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, I do support any constitutional amendment banning bachelor parties or bridal showers.

Homeless

A friend won't give money to the homeless because they'll spend it on alcohol or drugs.

I figure, if they don't ask where I got it, then I don't get to ask where it's going.

Duck

Friend of mine's pet duck was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.