Dec 27, 2008

It's getting to that 10% is the tough part.

I listen to Opera. I listen to Rap.
Sure, most of it's crap, but let's face it: 90% of everything is crap.
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Dec 24, 2008

One of the excuses I use.

I'm not bald. I'm a Flowbee victim.
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Dec 23, 2008

Christmas, by golly!

It's Christmas at the Palin household! And Sarah's busy baking sugar cookies and gutting Blitzen.
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Quiet please.

The reason stand-up comics like to make fun of mimes is because they know they won't be heckled.
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Pretty zenny, don't you think?

"There's no time like the present" should read "There's no time but the present".
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Dec 21, 2008

Orange a day keeps the doctor away.

There's really no sense in comparing apples and oranges. Oranges are better.
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Dec 20, 2008

WWJD - Who Would Jesus Do?

Text message to Fundamentalist Christians: If you truly want to follow Jesus' example? Stay single and don't procreate.
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I'm getting off at the next stop.

For the longest time, I assumed a metrosexual was someone who had sex on the subway.
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Dec 19, 2008

If I can get real for just a moment....

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. With no guarantee that it won't be your last.
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This guy just hasn't had any luck with preachers....

My theory on why Obama invited Rick Warren to the inauguration: Fred Phelps wasn't available.
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