Text message to Fundamentalist Christians: If you truly want to follow Jesus' example? Stay single and don't procreate.
Dec 20, 2008
I'm getting off at the next stop.
For the longest time, I assumed a metrosexual was someone who had sex on the subway.
Dec 19, 2008
If I can get real for just a moment....
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. With no guarantee that it won't be your last.
This guy just hasn't had any luck with preachers....
My theory on why Obama invited Rick Warren to the inauguration: Fred Phelps wasn't available.
Dec 16, 2008
Someone threw shoes at our president
For years, American airports have been treating shoes as the most dangerous objects in the world. Now we know why.
Just a trim.
Given the amount of hair I have, why do I spend more on a haircut than most? The same reason a bonsai artist gets paid more than a tree trimmer.
Dec 15, 2008
Said compassionately, of course.
The most useful phrase my mother ever taught me: "Oh dear. That was an unfortunate remark...."
Wait...he's a Democrat?!
Of course Blagojevich is still going to the office. He has a ton of shredding to do.
After I'm dead, that is....
What I want written on my tombstone: "I'm having a better time than you."
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