And the award for the most disgusting ad slogan of the new millennium goes to...Kaopectate: "Diarrhea. It stops me in my tracks."

Bobby Fischer, Troubled Genius of Chess, Dies at 64

Check and mate. Nice game, Bob.

Flu

I'm so sick and exhausted I can't even drink straight.

Tim and I are both out of work due to the Writer's Guild Strike -- this being Los Angeles, I guess we're now Poor White Recyclables.

Went to the ANDY WARHOL DEAD AT 21 ART SHOW -- full of all the same old faces and I didn't recognize a single one.


Best artist there: Lou Cannizzaro

I decided to learn Spanish so I've started pressing '2'.

My New Year's Resolution: 1600 x 1200

Tim mentioned someone at work he hadn't mentioned before.

I asked, "Oh? What's she like?" He said, "Regrettably healthy...."

Little Drummer Deadbeat

Little Drummer Boy:
Baby Jesus...pah rum pah pum pum. I have no gift to bring...pah rum pah pum pum.

Baby Jesus:
Uh...looks like you got a drum there. Why can't I have that?

Time payments.

I got a bill in the mail for a Time Machine. Apparently, I bought it twenty years from now.