Always remember: if you can't say something I want to hear, don't say anything.
- Bernie Keating
Apr 2, 2010
Life is a Whack-A-Mole game. Either you're holding the mallet or your head's in a hole.
Apr 1, 2010
The human race has a bizarre inferiority complex. If there is life on other planets, we assume it's more intelligent than we are, but we're better looking.
EGOTISTICAL DRAG NAME: Mimi Pickmi.
Mar 31, 2010
ACTUAL CONVERSATION: "I have Bell's Palsy." "And he has yours?"
Mar 28, 2010
A birthday marks another year away from and towards dirty diapers.
