Aug 23, 2008
House wife
What McCain should have said when asked how many houses he owns: "You mean 'How many houses does my wife own? Hell, if I know.' "
And any noun wit "ize" on the end.
Verbs we didn't have when I was growing up: hydrate, strategize, IM, waterboard, supersize, Tivo, outsource, and crunk.
Aug 22, 2008
The age is 53
There's an age where you go from "checking to see if your fly is up" to "checking to see if you're wearing pants".
Oldies
When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother, "What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?" Here's what she said to me: "Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours, to see. Que Sera, Sera."
Here's what I said to her: "Asshole...."
Here's what I said to her: "Asshole...."
Aug 20, 2008
Hair Apparent
Text message to Women Who Think Men Age More Gracefully than Women:
You get to keep your hair!
You get to keep your hair!
Aug 19, 2008
You know what I really hate? Okay, I'll tell you.
I hate when they do a remake of a movie that only came out three years ago. Even worse, I hate when I realize that the movie that came out three years ago actually came out twelve years ago.
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