Anthrax scare.

When bumping fists with her husband, Michelle Obama has been accused by the media of terrorist activity. I'm guessing if the poor woman passed gas, the media would report it as an Anthrax scare.

News flash

Text message to activists: it's all fine and good that you're saving humanity. But you still have to tip your waitress.

No I didn't....

For the longest time, I thought a "ne'er-do-well" was someone who was really good with depilatories.