Potato, tomahto.

Tim's dad is visiting. I think he's my father-in-almost-law. But Lou thinks he's my father-in-all-the-rights-and responsibilities-of-marriage-under-state-law.

Strike me!

Because I am a member of the WGA, people have started to ask me, "Are you striking?" So I tell them, "Well, I've always thought so..."

A leg to stand on.

"My daughter had a birthday - I spent weeks planning it - and they did an article saying I killed the neighbour's dog" - Heather Mills

Well, did you?

Mom would not approve

This from my brother, Tim: "I was going to buy one of those TVs with a giant 60 inch screen...but I said fuck it, and moved my couch so it's now 4 inches away from my old TV set. Works great!"