Which came first?

I'm going to just go ahead and assume that all the "R ight to L ifers"
refer to "a dozen eggs" as "a dozen chickens".

Schadenfreude

Have you ever seen the Schadenfreude Awards?
You get your award, you make a speech, and then you fall on your ass on the way back to your seat.

Handy phrase

Don't be shy about using this phrase when on the phone with computer technical support staff:

"Put anyone else on the phone."

Christmas sweater

One Christmas, my parents got me a sweater. It was unbelievable how much that guy could sweat.