Opiates

First, R eligion was the Opiate for the Masses. Then, TV was the Opiate for the Masses.
I think it's time to stage an Intervention for the Masses.

I want to be front row center when they make "March of the Penguins" into the worst Broadway musical ever made.

More from Grandma Britney:

At her 50th Anniversary party in 2055:

Grandma Britney: "Fifty years ago, I saw him the first time from across the dance floor and to this day, I get a tear in my eye every time I hear, "Drop that shit, now roll wit' it"

3 Guesses

Try to guess the 3 things I forget more often than anything else and I will too.

Safety First

I'm all for profiling at airports.
I don't want to be on the same plane with anyone who even looks like they're from Oklahoma City or Waco.