Jun 25, 2005


You can't do stem cell research without breaking a few eggs.

Jun 24, 2005

Only three

There are three things I can't stand more than anything in this world: Stooges.


A terrific slogan for any group really....

We're just like everyone else in that we think we're better than everyone else.


When Albert Einstein complained of headaches, his doctors thought it was a stroke of genius.


Google hits for S E X = 70,900,000
Google hits for G O D = 52,200,000

Wow...not even close....


"You could grow up to be president" always sounded like a warning or a threat to me.

Jun 23, 2005

Who's the boss?

The most satisfying thing to say to a boss who is yelling at you:

"I'm sorry you're not well. I'll come back when you're feeling better."

Get Rich Quick

Get Rich Quick Scheme:

Pick something people have been doing forever, like wearing shoes or sitting.

Write a good-sized book about how unhealthy it is for you and how to stop doing it.

People will buy it.


The air conditioning went out in my car, so I've been driving with the windows down and my shirt off. I'm thinking of putting a gun rack on my car so I don't look conspicuous.

I'm sort of a rouge neck these days.

Simple Math

It's heartbreaking, really, to think of gay couples adopting children knowing that 90% of them will turn out straight. It happens in the best of families....

Jun 21, 2005

Sing Sing Sing

I can carry a tune. But never to term.

In One of my Will Rogers Moods

I don't know who came up with this system, but giving people wrinkles and bad eyesight at the same time was a stroke of genius.

Jun 19, 2005


I wanted something that took up as much room as an SUV but I wanted something that was good for the environment. So now I drive a recycling truck.