Scat

Scat singing could not be better named.

Lots

Our real estate agent looked upset so I asked her what was on her mind. She said "Lots."

Birth control

They're advertising a birth control pill that reduces periods to four times a year. So, I'm guessing if your period’s three months late, it’s time to wet the stick.

Consult your manual

Whenever I buy a new electronic gadget, I always, always read the instructions. It helps me figure out what I did wrong.

Cigarette?

Cigarette smoking really stinks. Which makes me wish I hadn't quit. They never stank when I was smoking them.

Grand Ol' Opera, Dawg

Someone who loves opera, and someone who loves rap, and someone who loves country western music all have one thing in common: each of them hate two types of music.