Rainbow

What goes on over the rainbow, stays over the rainbow.

Bush

What bothers me about George Bush:

It's not the fact that he's an idiot, or a meglomaniac, or his pathological sense of entitlement, or his gargantuan ego based on no visible talents, compassion, or intelligence or-- No wait...actually it is all those things.

Keys to a happy marriage

It's practically a cliche but it bears repeating.

Although there may be times when sleep may seem more important than making up with your spouse, never under any circumstance go to bed drunk.

Don't do this.

Don't keep a dozen eggs in your glove compartment and don't throw them at SUV's that block your view of oncoming traffic.
It only makes visibility worse.
Oh, and it's wrong.

Rat's Ass

The only reason I really don't give a rat's ass is because I'm not really sure how to get one.

The domain game.

I had to get a domain name and I wanted to go with
www.bernie.bernie.bo.bernie.banana.fanana.fo.fernie.fee.fi.fo.fernie.bernie . com because it's so easy to remember. But it was already taken.

The domain game.

Inappropriate drag name.

Amber Alert.

Lorgnette

My publicity manager has asked me to change my name to "Lorgnette" because, as he puts it: "it makes you sound all kinds of classy and junk".

So I'm still thinking about it.

No oh!

Crap holy! I hope I don't have lysdexia.

Sorry

Saying "Whoops" is just as good as saying, " I'm sorry. "

Don't do this.

Don't have bumper stickers printed up that read: "You park like an idiot"

Then don't slap them on the windshields of badly parked cars.

It's wrong.

Third person

I never refer to myself in the third person.

My first two personalities won't let me.

Fish

I bought a brown molly for my fish tank and named it The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

It died the day after I named it. I found it floating upside down, so technically it was a pretty good name.

T-shirts

I like T-shirts
but I have to admit I'm curious about shirts A thru S.

Out.

I came out to my boyfriend last weekend. I don't know why I was so worried.

Wait for it.

Sixty to seventy years from now:

Grandma Kayla and Grandma Britney.

Assholes

I have little to no patience with assholes.
Which sort of makes me one.

Art

There is no such thing as moral art or immoral art. There is only "your taste" or "Ew".

Couch

Gay couch: homo-sectional.