Oct 4, 2008

If you knew Sushi...

I saw a Japanese mother feeding her toddlers raw eel. And to think of the fits I used to pitch over peas.

Oct 3, 2008

By golly.

Another thing I learned from the debate last night: America is not in the mood for winking.

Oct 2, 2008

Oct 1, 2008

Cut the crap.

I bought a new pair of scissors that was wrapped in that impossible-to-open Fort Knox clamshell plastic packaging.

I just stared at it thinking, "You know what would be really handy right now...?"

Sep 29, 2008

After listening to the news, I've decided to change my last name to "Mainstreet".

Tap, tap, tap...um...John? Can we have a word?

It could easily have gone this way:
"I'm happier than a pig in shit."
"How dare you call my running mate that!"

Sep 28, 2008

Hair today

When someone makes a crack about your going bald: "Hey! I have hair! It's at home....but I have it."